Wake Up, Stupid by Mark Harris

Author:Mark Harris
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2014-05-31T15:28:02+00:00

[from Abner Klang, New York, telegram]

auntiemaria agencied benwinder minter 501 madison avenue. what’s up?

abner

[to Abner Klang, New York, special delivery]

October 17

Dear Abner,

Because you failed to catch up with that fly ball you cost us the World Series. You have one more big chance. You’re on the two-yard line, the clock is running out, the ball is under your arm. If you carry it over, you’ve won the game and the girl and the big job at Alumni’s wholesale warehouse, but if you don’t carry it over you’ve lost the game and the girl and your job.

Signals! Exhume from your chaotic premises my letter to you of October 8. Carry it to Window 9. Insist upon the terms therein.

Nothing else will do. Don’t you see the chicanery, the villainy, the outright misrepresentation they are perpetrating with their word “by”? To what does it refer? They are attempting to deceive an innocent public into believing that the television show is “by” me.

Then stands Victor Wenk’s name—alone. Who is he? Millions will ask. Is he producer? Is he director? Is he the author of the commercial announcements? Is he an actor? Is he a cameraman? Is he the doorman, or perhaps the Window-washer himself? Maybe he is the product sponsored, a Victor Wenk, like a Victor Record?

You had better go over. You have nothing to lose but Lee Youngdahl.

No, I don’t suppose, to a man who happily skates along on a 25-letter alphabet, nor who, for fifteen years, has abstained from most forms of punctuation, a little word like “by” means much. But, Sir, you are incorrect: it is all. It is my life. Now, whose life shall it be, yours or mine? Save me and save yourself.

In unspeakable fury,

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